Yesterday was a terrible day. I mean, it was bad. With drama going on in my personal life, a hit from a friend that completely caught me off guard and had me on my ass, and too much going on at my day job, I didn’t care what show I was at, I just needed a show. Also, can we talk about how it’s been over a week since my last show and I was seriously going through withdrawals? Sure, I spent the weekend in Des Moines to celebrate my dad’s retirement so I was busy, but that’s still not a concert. I needed a concert and I didn’t care what one. That’s how I ended up drunk at the Lil Pump show with one of my best friends. Well that and apparently I’m a glutton for punishment and had, for some reason, signed up to cover Lil Pump. Good lord I really need to stop going on the concert sign up sheet late at night after a couple of drinks.

Typically shows at First Avenue start an hour after the doors open. So, had last night been like every other show, doors were at 6:30 meaning music at 7:30. My friend/photographer and I had it timed perfectly and strolled on in to our home away from home at 7:15. As she got her camera ready, we got word that music wasn’t going to start until closer to 8. Okay, no big thing, we made our way upstairs to grab a drink because, I mean, why not (also, you can’t drink on the main floor at all ages shows at First Avenue. Typically this annoys me but last night it was a damn blessing). We grabbed our drinks at the ghost town of a bar upstairs and found a spot where we could stand and watch the crowd.

We watched as the crowd swelled with the house music. There may have been nothing going on on stage but that didn’t stop the crowd from acting like the show had already started. We watched as the seven year olds were pushed from side to side of the venue with security plucking bodies out of the carnage when they could. I couldn’t help but laugh. You could see the audience getting more and more exhausted with every push and pull. A little bit after 8:30, a DJ and a dude finally took the stage and pumped out some generic music for the kids. I didn’t recognize any of the songs but one of the mom’s I was hanging out with (yes, I was in the parent section… judge me) helped me navigate through the songs that all sounded the same. Apparently I was listening to people such as Lil Yachty and Lil Peep (RIP). Now, don’t get me wrong, I love to discover new sounds and people but this whole “Emo-Trap” scene (or whatever you want to call it) is just not for me.

After the quick and pointless DJ set, Lil Pump took the stage to a bunch of screeching fans. I mean, the kids were going absolutely nuts and I watched as the kindergartners in the front row were pushed against the barrier that kept them a safe distance from the stage. I don’t get the hype, I’m going to be honest with you. Lil Pump is this scrawny little 17 year old that uses the word “esketit” over and over again and apparently is found to be attractive with the younger generation. Oh, what does esketit mean? Well obviously that’s just means “let’s get it” but you already knew that, didn’t you?

To say that Lil Pump’s music is inappropriate would be an understatement. With phrases like “My bitch love do cocaine, ooh/ I fuck a bitch, I forgot her name” in his hit song “Gucci Gang”, I was a bit shocked that so many parents would let their children listen to this. But, then again, most of these parents are probably too busy with their PTA meetings in Edina to really give the lyrics a listen. Call me old fashioned but, if I had a child right now I would rather have them listening to Slipknot or Marilyn Manson than whatever this crap is. Stuff like Lil Peep, Lil Pump, Lil Yachty. Lil Xan (essentially any act that starts with ‘Lil’ and yes, there’s literally a guy out there that goes by the name of Lil Xan) just doesn’t seem like something I would want my offspring idolizing.

I could write for days on my opinion of this whole new genre that seems to be all of the rage with rich, young, suburban, white kids but I feel like you kinda already understand my distaste for this whole scene and there’s no sense in me continuing to bash it. I get that everyone has different tastes and this could be someone’s favorite style of  music. Hell, when I was growing up I was a pop-punk princess and some people probably said the same crap about that scene that I’m saying about this new wave of rappers. I just don’t get it.

After a lengthy 27 minute set, (Yes, a $35 ticket to Lil Pump’s show will get you a whopping 27 minutes of music– you do the math) the show was over. I may have hated nearly every second of that extensive set but, when push comes to shove, there was a smile on my face the entire time. Any show is better than no show– even if it’s a Lil Pump show where you find yourself relating more with the parents around you than the kids on the floor.

Line Up:

Lil Pump

Venue: First Avenue

Sausage Fest Meter- 7 out of 10

Average Age of the Crowd- 4

Crowd Surfers- 1

Stage Divers-  0

Broken Bones- 0

Spotted Flying Through The Air- Confetti/ My hopes and dreams for the younger generation

Fights-0

Pukers- 0

Drunkards Taken Out By Security- 3

Underagers Caught Smoking/ Drinking Taken Out By Security- At least 13

Celebrity Sightings- None

Overall Score- 2 out of 10– and that’s me being nice because I was pretty drunk

Show on Deck- Nelly/ T.I.