I can get super discouraged, and it’s something that happens on an almost daily basis. It could be an email sent in the wrong tone or, like in the case of today, it’s the feeling of never being able to get caught up after being sick for a day. It’s hard to remember that, in the grand scheme of things, you’ve got everything handled because at the end of the day, ‘I Made It This Far.’ It’s a beautiful sentiment that Deborah Holland leans into with her new album of the same title.
The album starts with the whimsically folksy and heartfelt “Thankful (Thanksgiving 2023)”. I was instantly in love with the first few lines. “I made it this far / I didn’t die young / There’s a couple of people familiar with songs that I’ve sung.” I mean, come on, what an introduction. This opening track continues to speak of all the things we can all be thankful for. Although there are definitely lines specific to Deborah, most of them brought me such a sense of peace and calm, and I found them heartbreakingly relatable. This is a happy song, don’t get me wrong. The whimsical nature of this song matched with Deborah’s strong vocals, and the oddly simple yet catchy-sounding instrumentation gave this song an upbeat bop feel but, for some reason, I found my eyes swelling up with tears as this nearly four-minute long song went on. They were happy tears and told me everything I needed to know about the journey I was about to go on with this album– I’m thankful to have this opportunity.
It’s easy to assume that Deborah’s album will stay in the folksy world based on how perfect “Thankful (Thanksgiving 2023)” is, but as “A Long Time Ago” starts, you realize that Deborah is so much more than folk. This song is dramatic, with a stunning piano accompaniment at the forefront alongside Deborah’s emotive vocals. This slow and somber song has a very orchestral feel to it without the orchestra (although some epic string parts pop in and out throughout this song). Although this song feels like a complete 180 from the triumphant energy of the opening track, I love how the message of relatable lyrics continues to soar above everything else.
The more folk-leaning side of Deborah comes back through in “Circling the Drain” but with a more straight-up Tennessee country feel to it. The combination of those things continues to show not only Deborah’s stunning vocal talent but also her way of being a bit of a chameleon while clearly having her own sound that, when you hear, there is no denying who it is. I was lost in “My Lifeline” in an odd, almost trance-like way to the point where I almost didn’t even notice the album move onto “My Lifeline.” This song continues with some of the same vibes and feelings as “Circling the Drain” but feels a bit more raw in all of the right ways. Even the recording of this song feels and sounds grittier as if to drive home the point of the lyrics of this song. As one may assume, this song is about having a “Lifeline.” I’m not going to give away what that “Lifeline” is because, as always, I want you to hear this song for yourself but it’s another absolutely stunning track from Deborah Holland.
Full disclosure: My show tonight is a hardcore one. I’m going to see Comeback Kid and Obituary. Both are metal and hardcore greats, so I wasn’t quite in the mood for songs like “Born With a Broken Heart,” the fifth track on this album, yet Deborah had me sold within a second of this sweet, almost lullaby-styled track. The instrumentation is minimal in this song compared to the previous songs, giving Deborah’s stunning and classical-leaning voice the spotlight without any interference. This may not have been quite what I was in the mood for, but this song sang to my heart and soul in such a stunning way.
I love the fact that Deborah Holland can have such serious and heartbreaking lyrics but be able to put little sunspots here and there. “East Porpoise Bay” is a perfect example of that. This song talks about how it’s a beautiful day in East Porpoise Bay, but by the second verse, you realize that there are terrible days in East Porpoise Bay, like the days when it snows and the dog is snoring super loud (one of the many sunspots in this song). It’s something so simple, yet the way Deborah presents it in such a triumphant song is stunningly jaw-dropping. The ending of this song has a bombastic yet understated ending that flows perfectly into “Unfinished Business.”
“Unfinished Business” is one of my favorites on this album. It has an almost Broadway musical quality to it with the storytelling of the lyrics, but instrumentally, this song continues to stay fairly barebones, keeping it from going into the “campy” category. There’s almost a James Taylor feeling to this song. A subtle slide guitar in the background is what really gave me this feeling, but it’s also the carefree nature of the way this song just kind of slides by. I wish I could tell you more about what I mean here, but it’s something that will make more sense if you just check out this track for yourself.
The orchestral drama I felt in “A Long Time Ago” comes back for the intro of “Everybody’s Drinking But Me” but quickly falls away and gives way to this beautiful track. Although the lyrics are simple and quite obviously about how “Everybody’s Drinking But Me,” Deborah’s wordsmith ways take this song away to another world. The ebb and flow of this song is truly epic. Deborah and her band’s use of dynamics is stunning throughout this album, don’t get me wrong, but something about them in this song in particular just stood out a bit more.
Although “September (The Saddest Month of the Year)” has one of the more sobering song titles on this album, this is one of the more upbeat songs on the album. According to Deborah, September is the saddest month of the year because it signals the end of summer. Although I disagree with this statement, as I absolutely love winter and look forward to September for the complete opposite reason, I love Deborah’s playful side, which is shown in this song. It’s so playful and slightly out of left field compared to the more chill stylings of the previous songs that it was almost hard to return to her more dramatic and slow-tempo world with “Wildfires,” but have no fear. About forty seconds into this song, you get her signature feeling of triumphant and power.
‘I Made It This Far’ ends with “50 Year Reunions,” which I feel is the perfect ending song for this journey. Although I’m years away from my 50-year reunion, what Deborah sings about in this song will surely be my reality when I get to that point. It’s not a sad song, but it is. It talks of regret but also seems to throw back to everything you can be thankful for (as in “Thankful (Thanksgiving 2023)”). Although I was hoping for Deborah to end this journey with that super optimistic feeling I got in “East Porpoise Bay,” I found myself captivated by all of the intricacies that make this final track such a stunner (and particularly loved the “Get off my lawn” line).
I’m getting ready to go to what will surely be an intense show. I’m sure I will walk away with some bruises and an inevitable ringing in my ears even though I will have earplugs in. It will be a far cry from the feelings and sounds that I got while listening to ‘I Made It This Far’ by Deborah Holland, but that’s the most fantastic thing about good music. You can relate to it all. I relate to the angst and aggression that I will get from my show tonight, but I also relate to the real-life stories and honesty that I got from this album. On top of it all, this album brought me a sense of comfort. Sure, I’m super far behind on work right now, and my house is a bit of a mess, but come on, ‘I Made It This Far,’, and I’m genuinely “Thankful.”
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