Your Face Is Gross, You Eat White Toast

‘Twas the day before Halloween, and all through the Twin Cities, people dressed up in their brightest white shirts and headed downtown to the Skyway Theatre. Okay, just a couple of hundred people did that, but those people had made the right choice by spending their Halloween Eve with the almighty Gwar, the intense Dark Funeral, and the chaotic Squid Pisser.

Although Squid Pisser only spent about twenty-five minutes on stage (and their singer much less than that as he spent much of the set in the audience), this opening act packed a punch. Their music was pure chaos. There’s really no other way to put it. Within the first couple of songs of their quick set, the only comparison I could even attempt to make would be that Squid Pisser’s sound was similar to “Eeyore” by Slipknot. Deep cut, I know, but Squid Pisser had the same amount of controlled yet uncontrollable chaos as that song in particular. It was wild and, with the addition of very creepy masks, almost a little overwhelming to watch but in a good way (unless you’re a photographer because the set was complete of strobes and nothing else, but, if I’m being honest, I kind of had fun with the struggle of getting shots of this band).

I knew nothing about Squid Pisser before their set on Wednesday night, but after witnessing just a few seconds of their set, I knew that there had to be a bit of a backstory here of sorts, and I was right. Squid Pisser is actually a supergroup of sorts. The group is made up of Tommy Meehan (GWAR, Cancer Christ, Sweatband Records), Michael Armendariz (Duck Duck Goose, Melted Bodies) and Seth Carolina (Starcrawler). I’ll be honest: that is copy-pasted from their Bandcamp, so I don’t know that it’s accurate and don’t know who the fourth member on stage on Wednesday night was, but I know that you don’t get such a perfected sense of chaos without years of practice which is why I was not surprised to see that this is a supergroup. I don’t know where Squid Pisser came from or where they are going, but I hope their travels bring them back to the Twin Cities sooner rather than later.

Dark Funeral, the next band to take the stage, was just as intense as Squid Pisser but in a different way. Dark Funeral took a more controlled approach to their intensity. Don’t get me wrong, there were still moments of musical chaos sprinkled into Dark Funeral’s set, but it felt a bit more refined and composed. With seven full-length albums out there, this Swedish black metal band has definitely honed in on their sound perfectly, but beyond that, they have also honed in on their live performance. There was something just as intense about the members’ looks and brooding personas as there was with the music. It was the kind of set that leaves you feeling a bit intimidated in a way.

Although, like Squid Pisser, I was completely new to Dark Funeral’s world, it was clear that the rest of the audience around me was not. Dark Funeral was treated like a Godly band, with everyone moving along to their dark and intense songs. With a pit opening up in the middle of the floor and a few crowd surfers here and there, it was clear that some people had been waiting for a long time to see this great Swedish band, and they were not about to let a second of the set pass them by. I loved the energy that brought to an otherwise super dark and intentional set, but without the perfected dark and ominous tones of Dark Funeral, that would never have happened.

We all know the election is coming up next week. I feel like this and the fact that Halloween is here made it perfect timing to see Gwar. Yes, I know; I think every time I see this band, I say it will be the last time I cover them, but, really, it’s addicting, and who was I to turn down the opportunity to see and photograph this legendary band again?

For those of you who have been living under a rock, Gwar is a band made up of monsters. I’m not kidding. The members of this group wear elaborate and quite sinister outfits that are literally larger than life. The band is also known for “killing” different famous figures on stage and letting the “blood” spray all over the audience. Obscene? Sure. Messy? Absolutely. Perfect through and through? Definitely. the fact is, even if you’ve seen Gwar once, you get addicted to their performances. It’s more than just the energy, it’s also the creativity. Who are they going to “kill off” this time? What will be the storyline of this show? Really, if you want to take away the theatrics, you are still left with a stellar band that puts so much thought into their sets and clearly pays attention to every little detail of their performances.

As I mentioned, the storyline behind Gwar shows changes with every tour. The theme for this tour, or at least the show on Wednesday night at the Skyway Theatre, seemed to jump between two different lines. One was obviously political. Gwar’s set started with the members of the band killing off our two “lovely” candidates, meaning that they would be the presidents of the country (which, honestly, may not be the worst move we make come election day, but I digress). The members quickly realize that they do not want to run this country, so they use a special time machine thing to bring back presidents from the dead, but, in true Gwar fashion, the members of this intergalactic band just can’t help themselves and kill off president after president.

The other story arc happening throughout the set had to do with the absence of lead singer Blöthar the Berserker. The rest of the members kept wondering where Blöthar had gone as they took turns singing their own songs. Did Blöthar ever show up? Honestly, I don’t want to ruin it for you because it’s part of Gwar’s schtick, but I will say that I liked how, in his absence, the rest of the band could lead some of their own songs. I liked this because, although Gwar is all about the shtick, there is clearly some talent in this band, and we all got to witness that talent in the spotlight as each member took their turn leading the rest of the band and, in turn, the audience.

Seeing Gwar live will never get old for me. It’s come to the point where, when I tell both my mom and dad that I’m going to see Gwar, they both respond with “Tell them I say hi!”. It’s kind of turned into a running joke, and rightfully so, as Wednesday night was well over my twentieth time seeing this band, but why stop? Gwar puts on a hell of a show and is full of talented musicians. It gives you something to talk about, something to have nightmares about and something to remember. Long story short, go see Gwar.